Every week I write and article for the Euro Weekly News, an English-speaking newspaper covering all the major resorts of Spain and the Balearics. You can pick up a copy on a Thursday ... or read it here every week. |
Thursday 31 May 2007
Last week I put my 'proverbials' in considerable jeopardy by proclaiming I felt a woman's place was in the home. When you consider this paper is basically run by the fair sex (except Steven of course - hang in there Steve, not many of us left!) you realise just how close I am to singing a few octaves higher in the not too distant future. Well, before you all come screeching at me, I don't mean I have any objections to women being in the workplace, far from it. Its those who would reverse the roles altogether I can't abide. Those who spout woman's lib and put down the male of the species at every given opportunity, most of whom I find would actually rather be men themselves, (There I ago, now I'm upsetting the gay community as well - ah well, in for a penny.). These are the views I consider unnatural and totally unacceptable. By the very nature of the beast men have, throughout our evolution, been the hunters and women the home makers. There's nothing derogatory in this arrangement. Without a stable and loving home environment, most males wouldn't be able to exist anyway. It's a partnership, a partnership decreed long ago by a force far more adept at decision making than the likes of you and I. 'Come on gals, you know it makes sense. Into the kitchen with you. Whatcha mean the chain hurts yer ankles?' I don't know, never satisfied these gals. 'I'll give em a massage when I get back from the pub - ok? Yeah yeah - ok I give up, hand me the apron, of course you can have that new dress- and the hat - yes dear... of course dear...certainly dear'....... 'Course all this nonsense started with the advent of contraception. Once the fair sex realised they could actually 'arrive' without an unwanted guest moving in, the game was basically up! This does bring to mind a funny story I may have scribed some years ago, but still well worth a re run. It involved Erica, a rather beautiful 'ex' of mine. Erica's dad was an author and film scriptwriter of some repute. In their villa on the island of Malta her fathers writing area was set in the corner of their comfortable sitting room. Here he would sit and create his scripts, always accompanied by an obligatory cup of cocoa, which he habitually sipped as he worked. One night, after he had retired for the night, Erica, then a voluptuous 18 year old, invited a boy friend back for a night cap and a canoodle in front of the sitting room fire. One thing led to another and, after slipping on a condom, they were soon revelling in a session of doin' a what comes naturally. After spending a pleasant couple of hours together the young man prepared to leave for his own home. Firstly however, they had to make sure all traces and 'evidence' were safely disposed of, mainly of course the condom, casually cast aside some time earlier. They began to search - and search. The elusive rubber was absolutely nowhere to be seen. For over an hour, with panic now rising and all lights blazing, the two lovers fervently hunted the lost lust letter - to no avail. With still no result, the boy had to finally depart, leaving our heroine still frantically searching and knowing that were her father to discover her secret, his wrath would be indescribable. Squaring her shoulders, she prepared to renew her search and, if necessary, tear the whole room apart in her endeavours........ And that m'doves is all we have room for. Tune in next week for the amazing conclusion to the mysterious lost letter of love saga - bet you can't wait (!)? Till the demise of the next seven, keep praying for little Madeleine, keep a little hope in your hearts, and whatever ya do- Always keep the faith. Love Leapy |
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