Leapy Lee - chart topping singer of the 1960s and 70s

Every week I write and article for the Euro Weekly News, an English-speaking newspaper covering all the major resorts of Spain and the Balearics. You can pick up a copy on a Thursday ... or read it here every week.

Thursday 29 March 2007

Here we go again. Yet more abuse from a reader who has obviously only perused a couple of my scribblings and cant wait to ignite the fire and brimstone of righteous indignation all over the pages of Mrs Ed. The recent letter from Ms Alice proved no exception to the rule, dribbling on about subjects already threshed and thrashed in a veritable host of previous columnist chunder ups.

Meandering about like some demented alphabetical magical mystery tour, this readers letter positively seethed with vitriolic accusations, from which the only surprise really to emerge was the fact that she failed to accuse me of being the instigator of yer actual original sin itself.

I do categorically refuse to be drawn into discussions of yore, but will take the lady up on her point of integration. How presumptuous can a person who knows nothing at all about you actually get?

In reference to my seven year stint in Saudi Arabia, for your information Ms Alice, not only did I integrate, but was, at one stage, seriously considering entering the Muslim faith and actually applying for Saudi citizenship. Only my Spiritualist leanings, and at that time staunch patriotism, finally swayed me to reconsider and decide against it.

During my time in the country I was a free agent. This meant I could reside where I wished and not on one of the designated compounds most ex pat workers had to live on. Surrounded by Saudi neighbors, my fairly spacious apartment boasted not one upright chair and was in fact awash with cushions on which my guests could recline and relax in the (far more comfortable) local customary way. I wore a thobe almost constantly, principally because I found it the most comfortable and practical item to wear. I also possessed a couple of made to measure black numbers for more formal occasions (Omar Sharif eat yer heart out!). My Arab friends, of which I had quite a number, insisted on addressing me as Ali instead of Lee, and I lost count of the number of goat grabs I was invited to over the years.(These feasts generally took place in their homes where occasionally the women were allowed to unveil and join the men after the meal, an event which was considered a great honour by their guests.)

When I entered the fruit and veg business (it's in the book!), after bartering with the mainly Yemeni market traders, I would often sit and share their breakfast of fried local produce and indeed still do occasionally knock one up at home for old times sake. These laughter filled early mornings improved my Arabic considerably and I still treasure memories of those happy Arabian markets, I mean just how ethnic can you get?

I may add that I had also formed a band at this time and some of the Arab occasions I was engaged to play at would I know cause considerable furore were I to write about them, something I never even dream of contemplating I may add. So ya see Ms Alice if you want to talk integration don't let your pen run away with your per conceived ideas until you're actually in full possession of the facts, awright?

As far as integration in Spain is concerned, I suggest you go into my web sight, where I'm sure all will be revealed. All together now - Alice, Alice, who the...................!?

Somewhat closer to home my Balearic 'drums' inform me that the pantomime being presented locally on Mallorca this year has had a pc name change. After centuries of non problematic description it has now been re entitled Snow White ( steady now!) and the Seven - wait for it ......... 'Diamond miners'. Apparently somebody somewhere decided the word dwarfs offended. Well I happen to know that many of these little people are proud to be referred to in this quite correct and perfectly acceptable way and furthermore as a tall, non diamond miner I feel positively discriminated against. Give us a break.

Keep them e's coming. Keep thrusting out that noble chin, and whatever ya do, always -

Keep the faith.

Love Leapy

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