Leapy Lee - chart topping singer of the 1960s and 70s

Every week I write and article for the Euro Weekly News, an English-speaking newspaper covering all the major resorts of Spain and the Balearics. You can pick up a copy on a Thursday ... or read it here every week.

Thursday 28 December 2006

So that was it, was it?

The illustrious year of our - or somebody's - Lord 2006, to me an annus horribilus of disastrous proportions. A year when the (almost) United Kingdom's mad lunatics of power dragged us to the very brink of Armageddon.

Twelve long months of chaos and mayhem resulting from political decision-making that all but defied the reasoning of just about every rational thinking human being ever to cast a vote. A year when our namby pamby bumbling bureaucrats led the British nation closer to defeat than it has been since the days of the all-conquering Roman empire.

Three hundred and sixty-five days of disaster, when obviously bent and corrupt creeps crept around the portals and, whispering and hissing in the ears of their peers, still managed to keep out of the dock, even when a fraction of their corruption would have left the likes of you and I facing considerable chunks of serious 'bird'.

Some 525,600 minutes of political correctness and appeasement to 'ethnic minority' groups, which have stirred up more hatred and divided more communities than even the likes of Enoch Powell could have envisaged.

Some 31,536,000 seconds of idiotic incompetence that have left an aging, pop-singing ex-con that scribbles a bit, into thinking he could actually do better, and how ludicrous is that? I mean how far away from the pulse of rational thinking can these bumbling brickbats actually get? It really is frightening to watch them stumbling from one glaring potential disaster to the next.

These are the people we've trusted to look after us and frankly the majority of you and I could, for sure, do a great deal better. In fact, I often think my six-year-old son could do better. So, with the cry of Leapy and his S.S.P. (Smarty Pants Party) to form the next British government I present our manifesto for your consideration:

1) A serious review of all our involvement in the E.E.C. To my mind we never needed any of the so-called member countries anyway. It is them that need us. We have many worldwide allies that would fall over themselves to do business with us, were we a 'Free Port'. Without community countries sucking our very life blood, our autonomous future and earning capacity on the world stage - without the interference of Brussels - would be unstoppable.

2) Withdraw our troops from everywhere. Subsequently use the vast monetary saving to strengthen our nuclear deterrent and defences to such a level that our retaliation would be so devastating, no other country would dare to cross our path.

3) Stop ALL immigration forthwith. Put in place legislation that either gives immigrants three months to find work or face immediate deportation. Alternatively take a leaf out of Saudi Arabia's book and insist that any immigrants actually have a job in the country before they are even allowed in - this could easily be achieved by setting up international job centres in the countries WE decide on.

4) Make any demonstration, peaceful or otherwise that decries our British heritage, religion or way of life lead to heavy prison sentences or immediate deportation. Any effort to introduce 'alternative secular societies' discouraged also to the point of imprisonment or deportation. ANY crime committed by immigrants also to carry obligatory deportation orders.

5) Rein in our so-called 'legal beagles'. It is almost without exception the solicitors and lawyers who juggle the PC laws and so-called 'human rights' issues to feather their own nests with long, drawn out court cases that invariably put them in win/win situations. Engage experts to delve into ancient or piddling legislation that allows these parasites to flourish and simply scrub them from the statute books. Although these people would argue otherwise, the simpler the small print the better for all of us.

6) For God's sake get this old carrot off his soapbox before he sends us all to kip.

Have a wonderful New Year. It really couldn't get much worse - well, could it?

All you can do is elect the old Leaper to Prime Minister or simply put yer shoulders back, step boldly into 2007 and whatever ya do, always -

Keep the faith,

Love Leapy

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