Leapy Lee - chart topping singer of the 1960s and 70s

Every week I write and article for the Euro Weekly News, an English-speaking newspaper covering all the major resorts of Spain and the Balearics. You can pick up a copy on a Thursday ... or read it here every week.

Thursday 19 July 2007

Wouldn't it be wonderful to see the morons who designated and ultimately selected Salaman Rushdie to be the recipient of a Knighthood, put on display and publicly questioned as to why and how they reached this most ludicrous of decisions? Not only has the man done nothing to merit any conceivable honour by the UK, but for years has cost the British taxpayer a fortune simply to keep him alive and kicking - and frankly did any of us give a monkeys anyway? Not only did his awful 'Satanic Verse' book bore everyone's bum off but, because of its content, managed to make Britain an even more unsettled and dangerous place to live in. By way of thanks, and with his 'fatwa' threat more or less over, this arrogant, ungrateful individual then turns his back on Britain and opts to live in America - and we reward him with the highest honour in the land! I mean the mind really does boggle.

At the extent of once again being accused of envisioning a traitor under every stone, it simply defies the imagination to believe that not one of this, supposedly intelligent, selection committee (and ultimately Tony Blair), realized that to honor this individual would once again rekindle and provoke the volatile Islamic communities, thereby giving even more fodder to the extremists who would see our way of life terminated altogether? No, I'm sorry but I for one would like to hear a few explanations for this either blatant act of stupidity - or far more sinister - deeply disturbing act of subversity. But we won't will we? 'Course we wont.' These shadowy decision makers are hardly ever hauled up to answer for their often inexplicable rulings, and even if on rare occasions they are, the results are usually buried under mountains of paper work, red tape and 'old boy's' networks. No doubt this man will ultimately be welcomed at 'Buck House' by a dear lady, who is fast becoming the pawn of traitorous individuals not fit to even share the same country, leave alone the same room, and elsewhere the maiming and death will continue as usual.

To those under estimators who once again cry 'paranoid alarmist', insinuating that a plan of this nature, perpetrated by our so called leaders, is simply too ludicrous to contemplate, I refer you to another long awaited official explanation and ask why they still haven't come up with the reasons for the absence of any wreckage or bodies originating from the plane that supposedly crashed into the Pentagon during the 9/11 atrocities? Or have all the ostriches (as per), conveniently swept that one under the carpet as well? Give us a break; naivety and lethargy are the achilles heels of just about every western democracy and unless rectified will one day lead to the death and defeat of us all. S'there.

Of course one of the things they haven't reckoned on is our humour. Our sense of this (oft to other nations) elusive quality, has, in the light of the recently failed attacks on British targets, been allowed to run rife (Ramavan!?) Thanks to the power of the mighty internet some of it may have hopefully reached and subsequently confused a few of our dour adversities to such an extent that they may think twice the next time? The Germans never got it together did they? Now there's a nice thought. Keep sending them as far and wide as 'PC' possible. Remember weapons come in all shapes and guises and the written word is often the greatest guise of all.

And so, emerging from under my latest personal guise I bid ye all fare thee well for another 'seven'.

Keep them gags cybering.

Keep asking questions. And whatever ya do, always keep the faith

Love Leapy

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