Every week I write and article for the Euro Weekly News, an English-speaking newspaper covering all the major resorts of Spain and the Balearics. You can pick up a copy on a Thursday ... or read it here every week. |
Thursday 15 February 2007
Well well, what a gay week. No no Leapy hasn't finally 'come out'. In this interpretation I'm using the term as it was once proffered to describe a happy or joyful occasion. This last week, having been asked to go and 'do a bit of chanting' at an old friend's 60 th birthday shindig, turned out to be just that. As the 'do was in the good old U.K. it gave me a chance to peruse the old country after quite a considerable leave of absence. Don't worry I'm not going to bore you with another tirade of how it's all gone to the dogs. As it all took place in Bournemouth, the mass immigration that is swamping large parts of the old country has not in fact quite reached this most pleasant of English coastal areas. As an added bonus, to have my passport requested by two large beaming pink customs officers was not only a pleasant surprise, but in this day and age indeed a distinct novelty - careful Leapy, off you go again! Alright, alright I know I promised. I do however hasten to add that one guest told me his family had been hounded out of their West London home of 30 odd years and been forced to move lock stock and barrel to these safer and more acceptable climes. Mmmm! The son in law of the most delectable Chris, who's birthday it in fact was (many more happies to you m'dove), just happens to be one of the producers of the hit reality series 'I'm a celebrity get me out of here', so the old Leaper had no hesitation in flexing his muscles and professing his total non aversion to a bit of 'pioneering' as it were. I did draw the line at going into the garden and digging up a few warms to nonchalantly munch through at lunch however, thinking that an audition of this calibre would be perhaps slightly over the top even for me. Seriously though, I think I could possibly win it. Well, if you consider that the public vote keeps people in the jungle I would think the E.W.N. readers alone would ensure this old boy would probably never come out! While we've broached this subject of overwhelming love and affection, I still find it difficult to understand why I am approached on the street on almost a daily basis by people professing their unreserved agreement with my views, but apart from a small minority, only letters of condemnation ever seem to find their way into the actual post boxes of the paper. Why is that I wonder? Don't ask me I only try to bash out a bit of common sense now and again. Heard a joke while I was over mind you. So with writers block fast creeping up round the old grey matter (you noticed?) I'm gonna finish off this weeks blurb with just that. Paddy - oops, sorry Pauline (the wife's got the hump). This chap goes to a fortune teller and asks imploringly if he will be going to heaven when he finally checks out. 'Well' says the fortune teller. 'I've good news and bad'. 'Give me the good news' says P... er this chap. 'The good news' replies the woman 'is that you are indeed going to heaven'. 'T'nk the Lord for that' he says. 'Now tell me the bad'. 'The bad news is that you're going tomorrow!' Dah Dah. No no, don't pull out the pin Pauline, - Pauline you're supposed to throw it when you do that - Pauline Arggggggh! I think I'd better leave before I dig myself any deeper! Well, how am I to know the wife had changed her religion! Till the next time, assuming there is one. Keep on holding on. Keep on hanging in, and whatever ya do - Always keep the faith. Love Leapy |
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