Leapy Lee - chart topping singer of the 1960s and 70s

Every week I write and article for the Euro Weekly News, an English-speaking newspaper covering all the major resorts of Spain and the Balearics. You can pick up a copy on a Thursday ... or read it here every week.

Thursday 7 June 2007

Last week we left our intrepid heroine frantically searching for the elusive 'french letter' nonchalantly tossed aside after a passionate liaison with her partner in front of the fire in her parents sitting room. Knowing her father would probably go into cardiac arrest were he to discover her shenanigans, she knew she must find the elusive pregnancy preventer sooner rather than later. To cut an extremely long one short, after almost tearing the place apart, with dawn literally probing the 'chinks', she finally had to admit defeat.

Pacified a little by the fact that if none of her efforts had produced the 'journeying johnnies' final resting place, there was actually a strong possibility that no one else would come up with it either, she reluctantly retired to her bed, vowing to redouble her efforts later that day.

A short while later her slumbers were rudely jolted aside by the sound of her bedroom door crashing open. Immediately fully conscious she observed her father, glaring down at her and breathing fire and brimstone from every orifice. 'What may I ask, is this?' he glowered, hissing the narrative between his molars like some demented pressure cooker. Almost in a state of shock she looked down at the subject of his enquiry. There it was. Hanging limply between his fingers and looking more like a child's discarded water balloon than an object of lust, visibly dripping, was the object of the previous night's desire - and ultimate frustration. Glancing at his other hand she observed the cup of cocoa left on his writing desk the night before. So there it was the curious case of the mysterious missing 'missive' finally solved. It was the custom of her father to leave a little cocoa in the bottom of his cup which he liked to sip cold in the morning (Yuk). That morning his refreshing sip had contained slightly more than he bargained for. Amazingly the discarded Durex had sailed across the room and landed straight in his coffee cup! Ya see you never know do ya? Be sure yer sins will ultimately find you out. I understand it was some time before he actually saw the funny side of the whole saga and, with eighteen being a far younger age for gals in those days, a considerable time before his daughter was even allowed out of the house. Plus, I may add, even longer before he commenced to enjoy his morning repast of cold liquefied cocoa beans again!

I dunno funny old life 'ennit.

Finally, for those of you wondering why I haven't answered my mobile for a week, I've lost it. Apart from the inconvenience, it's almost a relief to be 'unobtainable' for a bit. Can't be 'checked up on' either. Hmm.... Anyway hope to be back in the land of the communicative again soon. In the meantime I can still be reached via the web site. Delighted to see Senor Delgado and his team re elected in the Calvia municipality, a wonderful result for truly caring democracy and honest forward thinking. Well done all concerned. A final congratulatory mention for the charity walk sponsored for Mediterrane by the ever generous company of Engel and Volker's last weekend. I understand the event raised in the region of 26,000 Euros and rising. Once again a great result for people who really care.

Still no sign of the little missing tot Madeleine. I must say the longer it goes on the more I fear the worst. I did find an interesting comparison made by her Dad last week. To the knockers of their decision to dine some distance away from the apartment he stated that, as terrible as they felt, it was really nothing more than the distance many find themselves removed from their sleeping tots were they to be dining in a fair sized garden, something done by thousands of parents every day. What about a little compassion from all you nasty knockers out there hmmm?

And that's about it.

Till we meet again.

Hang in Hang on to it; keep some hope in your heart, and whatever ya do.

Always keep the faith.
Love Leapy

Previous articles index click here | If you want to go to Leapy's home page click here